"Hire a skip. Throw out everything you haven't used for 12-24 months."
This was the non-personalised, unsolicited advice given in response to a recent request for referrals to a decluttering business on a Facebook group. I wanted to yell. I wanted to scold. But mostly, I wanted to keep my cool because, let’s face it, online confrontations are tricky. Still, I knew I couldn’t just let it slide, so I replied:
"While this strategy works well for some, it’s not so straightforward for everyone. By the time someone reaches out, they've usually explored these basic ideas and need more tailored support."
Why Simple Advice Misses the Mark
The original poster (OP) wasn’t asking for decluttering advice; she was looking for recommendations for a local decluttering business. This kind of one-size-fits-all advice doesn’t consider the various personal challenges people might face, like mobility issues, mental health concerns, executive functioning challenges, or sheer exhaustion and overwhelm.
Offering generic advice is a bit like saying, “Just eat less and exercise more!” Sure, it’s good advice in theory, but it’s rarely that simple or effective for everyone. Publicly seeking help can be daunting enough without receiving suggestions that imply it should be easy, or that the person seeking help is somehow wrong for needing it.
Given the number of referrals provided, it’s clear there’s a significant need for professional decluttering services. The OP is not alone, and a simplistic ‘solution’ is far from adequate.
Case Study: Generic Strategy vs Personalised Support
Let me share a story from my practice. “Emily”, who has Hoarding Disorder, struggles immensely with letting go of possessions. During our first meeting, she was adamant that she didn’t need my help, and that I was just there because her family insisted. Her home was so cluttered that there was no place to sit or even a clear surface for a plate of food.
Emily had seen many others come and go, and she feared I’d be another person coming in with black bags to throw away her belongings, assuming I knew better than she what was worth keeping. These past experiences had only worsened her condition.
I assured her that I would not discard a single item without her say so, and she agreed to give it a chance. After just two sessions, Emily told her family, “I’ve made more progress in two hours with Lauren than in two years with a psychiatrist.”
I’m not promising miracles, and I firmly believe in the importance of ongoing professional mental health support. However, the right kind of help tailored to an individual’s needs can make a world of difference. Emily still needs continuous support at home and from her doctor, but she can now have guests over, which is a profound change.
The Benefits of Personalised Support
Getting personalised help from a professional decluttering and organising coach is far superior to generic advice from a random Facebook comment. A coach tailors their strategies to fit your unique lifestyle, habits, and goals, making changes practical and sustainable. This personalised approach not only smooths the process but also boosts your confidence, knowing that the solutions are designed specifically for you.
Generic advice often misses the mark, lacking the depth and understanding needed to address your specific challenges. Plus, a professional coach provides ongoing support and accountability, transforming what could be a daunting task into a manageable and even enjoyable journey toward a more organised life.
Similar Unhelpful Advice
Here are some examples of the kind of well-meaning but unhelpful advice I’ve received:
– I’m looking for a dietitian.
– Just eat less and exercise more!
– I’m depressed and want to see a psychologist.
– Cheer up!
– Any recommendations for a female health specialist? I think I have a hormone imbalance.
– Go on The Pill.
– Has anyone found a good alcohol-free Gin?
– I don’t like Gin. Just drink diet soda with lime.
Simple advice isn’t necessarily “wrong,”, I share plenty of tips and strategies that can be applied without knowing you personally. But, without a nuanced understanding, it can be unhelpful. The responses above may work for some, but they didn’t address my specific needs and weren’t what I was asking for—referrals.
If you don’t know the answer, it’s better not to respond. If you do respond, acknowledge your limitations (e.g., “I don’t know who does that, but I’ve had success with this alternative…”). If you’re seeking support, you deserve to find the help that’s right for you. Take unsolicited advice with a grain of salt. If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong or broken. It simply wasn’t what you needed. Support has to be genuinely supportive.
Have you received any well-meaning but unhelpful advice while seeking support? Would you like to try a personalised approach? Why not book a free strategy session with me and find out the difference for yourself?